Exercise

It feels good. :)

I managed a walk around the neighborhood with the kids last night, and again this morning. Pushing the double stroller has got to make up for moving at a slower pace. I hope so, anyway. If not, it still burns more calories than sitting on my ass.

I'm doing ok on water today, too. I'm trying to get 5 servings of fruits and veggies in, focusing on a what I can eat instead of what I can't. I will make it.

Drowning

I am drowning in self-destruction. I don't know any other explanation for my behavior other than inertia. Eating healthy is an upstream swim, and the undercurrent has me.

Goals for this week:
water and exercise.

that's all.

Fell off the wagon

With a big thud.

I've had some medical issues going on, but I think things are getting better. I am getting back to my plan. It's hard not to fall back on the crutch of comfort foods. It's also hard to not to go for quick and easy. I just need to remember that nothing's quicker and easier than fresh fruit or a bagged salad.

I am not doing well

I am on edge and grumpy as hell. I want pizza, I want chocolate. Paul just ordered pizza. He ordered me a salad, I don't know how I will do. This really really sucks.

Day 10:
lunch: salad, leftover chinese veggies
snack: watermelon, salad, popcorn

Dinner: 1 slice pizza, chef salad with ranch

I took another 30 minute walk after dinner. I'm feeling ok, but still really wanting chocolate!

Exercise

I'm doing the Dora "We did it" dance! There was a nice breeze this morning, so I put the babies in the stroller and took a walk through the neighborhood. Reagan rode along on her bike, and provided a narrative of who lives where.

I just basicly walked from one end to the other, and then crisscrossed back down each street on the way back to our house. It ended up being 45 minutes, and our breeze was nowhere to be found at the end of the walk. I feel good, and the kids enjoyed it. Ari fell asleep in the stroller, but of course he woke up as soon as I got him out!

Slipping

The last two days have not been perfect. I didn't feel well on Tuesday, and we went to a playgroup. Anyone who knows me knows how leaving my house effects me. Haha.

So on Tuesday, I had a fruit slushie for breakfast, made with frozen strawberries, diet 7 up, lime juice and 1 T. flax meal. I had pinto beans for lunch, and was too lazy to make a salad. I was lazy and just feeling miserable (I got stung by a wasp on Sunday and my arm was killing me, plus I'm on a very unusually yucky period), and Paul wanted Chinese. I ordered the vegetarian dish, but it was still cooked in who-knows-what-kind of oil, and it was white rice. I ate about half of it, and didn't have anything else the rest of the night. Not a perfect day, but not too shabby.

On Wednesday, I had an apple for breakfast and took the kids to an early movie. I allowed myself a diet dr. pepper and a small box of junior mints during the film. I didn't have any popcorn. Then the kids wanted Sonic for lunch and a picnic at the park. I was good, and didn't order anything for myself, not even a drink! That was a success. I had to wait another hour and a half, after I got the kids home and Libby down for a nap, before I could eat my salad. I did well, and enjoyed my salad, with some watermelon later that afternoon. I made sure to go to the store for lettuce and stuff before I got hungry. I was lazy at dinnertime again, but I made a big salad and corn on the cob. That was a success.

However, after dealing with four cranky kids all day, and the last ugly scene between Will and Reagan occuring at 11:00, when Paul said he was going to Quik Trip for Ding Dongs, I had no self control left. I could have gone to bed, but I was really looking forward to staying up to get some work done on my websites. I ate the Ding Dongs.

In the grand scheme of things, this is not a horrible failure. It is a warning though. I need to be more careful with meal planning, and find other ways to reward and comfort myself. This is a lifelong struggle, to find ways to be good to myself that don't involve eating. I think part of it is that eating doesn't feel selfish and I don't feel that I'm taking away time from someone else to do it. Anything else feels too extragavantly selfish. I never said I was normal, if I were, I wouldn't be 80 lbs overweight!

Exercise thwarted

Exercising with small children is always a challenge, but I decided I'd go take a walk at the park this morning before it got too hot. It is storming! Here's the whole ugly, silly story: Stupid Mommy Moment

Plan B is to walk on the treadmill. I might have to wear the baby on my back for that.

Day 6

We went out to eat....

to a Mexican Restaurant....


and I didn't blow my diet!

I ate no tortilla chips, nothing fried, no cheese, no margaritas!

I had a margarita chicken salad, asked for no cheese, and only ate half. The only 'bad' part of the salad was the chicken and tortilla strips. I got it with mango-pineapple vinaigrette, and it was yummy! I only drank half of my diet pepsi too! I really feel like I'm on a roll.

Today's food log:

Breakfast:
malt-o-meal w/ cinnamon & splenda

Lunch:
blackeyed beans
salad

Dinner:
margarita chicken salad

Snack:
watermelon

Day 5

Still hanging in there! Really proud of myself today. I had a family thing at my mom's and had to leave the house early. I didn't have breakfast, so I got some apples on my way. I had an apple, and made it to lunch no problem. I ate only salad for lunch, and avoided the hamburgers, chips, cake and ice cream! Yay me!

Paul ordered pizza for dinner, and I managed not to eat any of that either. :) I ate some salad and blackeyed peas. I'm really really happy with myself today!

Day 4

I'm down 2.5 lbs from Monday! I had to go to bed early last night. The smell of donuts and fresh popped popcorn in the house was too strong.

I'm up early, trying to figure out some time management magic. I need to be able to exercise and keep my house clean and prepare healthy food and juggle all the other balls at the same time. It makes my brain hurt a little.

I just started my period this morning, so we'll see how that affect things, if at all.

Plan for the day:

Breakfast:
cantaloupe
banana

Lunch:
salad
some kind of beans
apple

Dinner:
salad
stir "fried" veggies

lots of water

My mouth is still hurting and sore from the dentist on Monday, so I'm having trouble eating much.

I have a big challenge tomorrow. Family BBQ at my mom's. She's making hamburgers, which aren't one of my favorite foods, so I should be just fine. Just the social pressure to be polite to deal with. I told her I'd bring a big salad and a watermelon.

Day 3

6/8/06

Breakfast:
grapes

Lunch:
polenta and marinara sauce
broccoli

snack:
peach
grapes

snack:
tortilla chips and salsa

Dinner:
big salad with garbanzo beans
glass of wine

still not getting enough water in

Kinda stressed out today, lots to do, not enough time. The meal prep involved here is killing me. I enjoy it, but it leaves little time for anything else after I take care of everyone else.

We are without satellite this week. It seems to be helping, no sitting in front of the tv eating. I think I might just be on a roll if I could stop eating at the computer!

Day 2 food log

Breakfast:
peach
water

Lunch:
bean chili
big salad
1/2 apple

Dinner:
polenta w/marinara sauce
grapes
glass of wine

still too much diet 7up, not enough water

Challenges: My simple dinner of polenta and sauce turned into a meat and cheese and bread extravaganza for Paul. It was really difficult not grabbing a meatball or piece of garlic bread. I'm feeling good about resisting.

Day 2

I did well yesterday! I was still afraid of chewing, so no salad.

Breakfast:
coffee with sweet&low
cantaloupe
Lunch:
potato soup
water
dinner:
soft bean tacos on corn tortillas
peach

I didn't come close to meeting my daily nutrition goals, but I stayed vegan and low-fat.

It wasn't a bad day at all. I did want to snack after dinner, but I limited myself to diet soda and a peach.

I am actually having trouble finding time to eat this week, so it seems like a good week to detox. I'm forgoing the coffee today, since I didn't get much water yesterday. I am running out of salad fixins and fruit, so I need to get to the store today also.

Day 1

I'm starting a new adventure today. Yesterday was supposed to be day 1, but after a visit to the dentist, all my willpower and ability to chew raw food was gone.

I am restarting the diet plan outlined in Eat To Live by Joel Furhman, M.D. I tried it for a few weeks back in March and lost weight really fast and felt great. I just couldn't stick with it at the time. I had to get to a better emotional place, and rally some support, and psych myself up for the inevitable event of that support not panning out.

I have tried to get my family to do this with me, but it's a pretty strict plan. I need strict, but not everyone does. It's just hard to be eating differently than everyone around me! I am hopeful and optimistic though. Trust me, I was more excited yesterday. Something about an aching jaw and a nitrous hangover seems to have dampened my excitement, but I'm still highly motivated.

The PLAN calls for a six-week detox period, eating only plant food, mostly green vegetables and fruit. There's plenty to get excited about, eating this way: cleansing my body of chemicals, decreased cholesterol, decreased blood pressure, decreased weight, and improved mood (eventually). Trying to change my outlook from one of deprivation is difficult though, especially in this first week of physical withdrawal symptoms.

I'm using this blog as a record of my progress, and an emotional and mental release. I really don't expect anyone to read it, but I'm not afraid of feedback if I happen to get it.